This is a baby-themed newsletter
My baby and small toddler picks.
This is a bit of an atypical newsletter edition as it is baby-themed — mostly random tips and what I bought/use for the baby.
I’ve been wanting to do this newsletter for a while but deliberated it for a while.
It’s not going to be relevant for everyone, and I am mindful that everyone is at a different place for the baby/non-baby journey. But also, I am SO conscious of not making this newsletter — which has predominantly been one about style/fashion/pop culture/lifestyle/zeitgeist/basically things that interest me — about you know, too much of baby-stuff, ‘momfluencing’, or my personal life.
But, I do think there were things that I wanted to share as I found them useful at the time — by the way, I was not an intense researcher when I was pregnant and felt like I just relied on ad hoc tips from friends and family and winged it most of the time (well, aren’t we all doing that).
Everyone’s experience is different and unique and this is just mine — I’m not saying this is the right way or wrong way!
I’ve tried to cover everything that I could think of (might leave baby clothes out as I feel like that’s a whole different section) — but please leave a comment to this edition if you have any questions!
READ: Pretty white moms in their pretty white houses, an interview with Sara Petersen about momfluencers at Culture Study Substack
Sarah Petersen’s work (her Substack and her book) take momfluencers as a rich text for analysis.
From the newsletter:
If I were to describe the type of momfluencer that still dominates the multibillion dollar industry (and who still makes the most money), she would be white, thin, marketably attractive (a phrase I’m borrowing from Sarah Marshall, who has utilized it a few times on her podcast You’re Wrong About) according to western beauty standards, cis-het, married, non-disabled, have at least three children under the age of 10, live in a large, mostly white (or beige) house, and have access to generational wealth. And blonde beachy waves! She would 100% have blonde beachy waves.
If you are on social media AT ALL, and find yourself searching whatever platform for any sort of information AT ALL about, say, anti-nausea pregnancy teas or sleep training strategies or stretch mark cream or diaper bags that don’t scream “diaper bag,” you will find momfluencer culture impossible to avoid, and in most cases, you’ll also find it impossible to construct your own maternal identity without reckoning with the noise of that culture.
In it — the difference between momfluencers who peg themselves as ‘trad moms’ and ‘cool moms’, the fantastic line of how we get influenced to “hope with our dollars”,
READ: How to navigate matrescence – the ups and downs of new motherhood from NPR
I didn’t know what matrescence was until some late-night Googling at one week post-partum had me stumbling upon a Reddit thread where someone mentioned the term.
Once I did my own research on it, it was such a… almost a relief, or a realisation, that there was a word to describe the feeling that I otherwise couldn’t articulate myself.
Becoming a mother is a huge, complicated life transition that can rock every fiber of a person's being. The process even has its own name: matrescence. And while this term may seem relatively new, it was actually coined in the 70's by medical anthropologist Dana Raphael. “She kicks off a lot of her writings saying that in some cultures we say, 'a woman has given birth,' but here we say, 'a child is born,'" says Aurélie Athan, a reproductive psychologist at Columbia University. "And with that, the emphasis gets shifted on the child.”
This Medium article about matrescence by a doctor is also good. I’ve also seen that there’s been a recent book about it too (called Matrescence). Here’s a review about it from The Guardian.
READ: Managing your career - part of Harvard Business Review’s Working Parent Series
I’ve only read one from this series of books but I’m interested in reading the rest.
NOW, ONTO THE THINGS
SLEEP
Cribs/cots/bassinets
I bought the Snoo and love it. Like anything, it’s not going to work for everyone; but it worked for me. Having said that, I wonder if maybe I just had a good sleeper and he would have been fine Snoo-less. I will never know.
Now that he’s in a crib, I’ve got the Leander convertible; I found it on Facebook Marketplace for $300 and just bought a new mattress.
I am borrowing my friend’s BabyBjorn Travel cot (I’M SORRY JS I WILL BUY MY OWN EVENTUALLY!) which has a really thick mattress and is easy to collapse and put it up again.
I used the Huckleberry app to track his sleeps and I paid for the Plus version so that it would recommend me nap times. I don’t use this much anymore but when I was getting him into a nap schedule, this was SO useful and I used it religiously.
Sleep suits
A friend (thank you SC!) gave me her hand-me-downs from Merino Kids. The lightest is a merino/cotton mix, and the heaviest is all merino. The label tells me that they are breathable and the prints are all cute stripes so they are not unbearable to look at.
Oh and the Love To Dream zip-ups! A godsend since I was such a bad swaddler and Frederick kept on pushing his arms out all the time — I got the arms-up one.
One of the cutest toys Frederick has is this Miffy stuffed toy which was a gift from my friend RT. He’s not really into stuffed toys at the moment but he probably likes this one the most.
PRAMS AND CAR SEATS
Prams
I bought the Babyzen Yoyo without trying anything else so many of my friends had recommended it to me. It is designed to be a travel pram but I used it as my main pram for ~12 months (until I LOST IT — still devastated by this).
Pros: it is one of the lightest and smallest on the market. I live in inner-city Sydney so space isn’t really something we have a lot of so this ‘suited our lifestyle’, as they would say in the shop.
Cons: it is a bit small and um, it’s maybe not the smoothest ride for the baby and when I had him in the bassinet when he was six months and under, I did feel a bit bad that it would rattle along and be a bumpy ride. The handles are quite low — my partner and I are on the taller side, so long walks aren’t the most comfortable. And, there isn’t much space to store anything under the seat.
I’ll need to buy another travel pram eventually and I’m still umming and ahhing whether I’d re-purchase the Yoyo or go for something else.
Bugaboo very kindly gifted us the new Dragonfly which is designed to be in between a travel pram and a ‘big pram’. Big prams scare me. The con for this is you wouldn’t be able to take it on a plane as carry-on but you would be able to have it as check-in luggage. The pro is that it LOOKS SO NICE and I have had unsolicited comments from friends and strangers alike about how nice this pram is. While it isn’t a ‘big pram’, there is SO MUCH space underneath the seat to store bags.
Car seat
I have the Britax Graphene after a friend who is good at baby research told me to get it. My OB gave me the tip to limit as much baby research as possible and to ask friends, because chances are you’ll know someone who has done all the research. Thank you SW!
FEEDING
Drink bottles/sippy cups
My friend SW gave us the Subo which is great to put thick liquids like porridge, congee or smoothies in and for him to eat it on the go. It is technically non-spill, but there are times when food can get everywhere so I wouldn’t say it’s 100% foolproof to keeping things clean. This is good if you’re going to meet friends and you don’t have time to do a proper solids meal at home but you know he’s got to eat something more than like, the crust of a sandwich.
I have the B-Box Sippy cup for water and the Kmart copy. There are slight differences — but I might actually prefer the Kmart one.
High chairs
The Stokke Tripp Trapp is really aesthetically pleasing and easy to clean, but Frederick is constantly standing up in it. I really should buy a harness but I keep on hoping he gets over it. I also have the Mamas and Papas High Chair which I was gifted by the brand which is not as easy to clean but I think the baby enjoys being in it more — once he’s in, he doesn’t wriggle around much or try to dive out of it.
Also, I used the Catchy to ‘catch’ any mess. The white makes it easier to see dropped food rather than our wood floors.
Bibs/smocks
I have a smock from Besbubs (gifted by the brand) and a Liewood one (gift from my friend RE). For the bib, I have a Kmart one which is perfectly fine, but you can tell it doesn’t sit as well as my Rommer one (gift from my friend RE).
BREASTFEEDING
NB The first six weeks of breastfeeding was a real struggle, as it is for so many people who choose to try and have the opportunity to do so. I subscribe to fed is best, and did a mix of formula and breast which was not really well received at the early childhood place I was sent to.
Emily Oster was a good resource for the actual benefits of breastfeeding and other other baby/parenting data (I’m a paid subscriber to her Substack), and this NYT article about what it really takes to breastfeed a baby is fascinating.
I also used the Silverettes in the beginning to help healing nipples. The lactation consultants commented that they’ve noticed everyone using these now — I think it did help!
Breastpump
My sister-in-law kindly gifted me the Youha Embody Wearable breast pumps which her friend had recommended and I was SO impressed after paying some stupid fee to rent the hospital-grade ones from the hospital pharmacy. The Embody pumps are just as strong as the so-called hospital-grade ones, and the lack of wires are a real gamechanger. Look, they’re never going to be entirely silent, and they aren’t ever going to be entirely subtle, but that’s what it is.
Nursing bras/camis
I bought a range from Kmart and H&M and preferred the H&Ms more because they weren’t moulded cups, so that’s more of a stylistic choice rather than a brand. Mumma Milla gifted me their leakproof bralettes later in my breastfeeding journey and I truly regret not purchasing these myself earlier (I breastfed up until 10.5 months because going back to work made it harder and anyway, F was never a fiendish for the breast so it was pretty easy).
Formula
I started off on A2 — my husband picked it out in the shop because “it was expensive and the packaging looked good”.
We also were kindly gifted Mumamoo which I was very impressed with their story and also how many nutrients and vitamins were in it when I compared it to every other brand I found. While Mumamoo is so jam-packed, I did find it a bit heavy for baby initially so watered it down until he got used to it.
And PS
Oh, and for anyone breastfeeding or wishing to, I 1000000000% recommend the Qiara probiotic to help stave away mastitis. Everytime I felt slightly mastitis-y, I took an extra Qiara probiotic. My OB had recommended this to me and now I tell everyone to buy them.
THIS IS IN BOLD BECAUSE THIS WAS SO IMPORTANT!
CHANGING
Nappies
I like Huggies and Babylove, or the Aldi homebrand. I DID NOT LIKE Little Ones.
Wet wipes
Surprisingly found this difficult to find the Goldilocks one. A lot of the popular brands I found wet, or too dry. I tried supermarket ones and I tried fancy ones. My favourite is Bunjie, but it can be slightly annoying to take it out of the packet.
Nappy bin
I was trying to be all minimal for the baby and barely bought anything for the first six months, but the tip I got from my friend NF and TL was to get a nappy bin because you will be doing a lot of nappies and you won’t want to be throwing out the bin at 2am at night. I have this one because you can use any large rubbish bin liner and you can lock it shut so baby can’t open it.
Nappy bag
Instead of a normal ‘nappy bag’ I have this nappy bag insert that I can put into any other tote. This was a gift from my friend EC and SO practical.
Change mat
I have a cute Liewood travel nappy mat that I use instead of the one that the nappy bag came with because it’s larger.
At home, I have the Leander change mat which makes me feel like a cliche.
Cutting nails
We have this Haakaa set which worked really well in the beginning but now he hates it so I don’t know how to cut his nails anymore.
SHOES
I initially bought cute-looking baby shoes from Zara which I was later told were too hard for baby and also a bit tricky to get him into.
Since then, I have bought Nike and Adidas sneakers which are lighter and more comfortable for his feet.
The velcro fastenings on these baby Adidas shoes make it really easy to put on - it’s on sale at Myer.
I also like these Onitsuka Tigers, again, baby ones from Myer on sale.
Basically, the key for shoes especially when they’re learning to walk are soft, easy, supportive and light. I was recommended by a friend to buy Bobux as well; I bought them all full priced so it’s sad (for me!) to see them now on sale.
I have a very small paid partnership with Myer for the Black Friday sale to share on my Instagram Stories. There was NO expectation for me to share it on my Substack but I have anyway because I really have had a learning curve when it came to baby shoes. If you’d like though, you can browse my picks from the Myer sales here for toys, and here for toddler clothes. My full LTK is here.